“What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend it ceases to exist.” ~Salman Rushdie.
No doubt about it, the path toward deeper happiness is neither fast nor simple.
There are no real shortcuts to doing the work, the deeply personal work, the practices that connect us with our “true” selves and others and the process of living in a connected, meaningful, authentic way.
Understanding our wants and needs and deeper motivations, we could probably all agree, is a tall enough order in and of itself.
But there are insidious forces at play making the work harder still!
The process is akin to being invited to a tantalizing happiness brainstorming session. You arrive, feeling this is going to be great, creative juices flowing, ready to take your seat before the metaphorical white board. But wait, just as you’ve barely getting warmed up, the comments, filters, criticisms start: how will that work? that’ll never fly! who’ll approve of that?! where will the budget come from? it’s been tried before!
In the personal happiness realm we need the same white board to explore and reconnect with internal drives and motivations, burgeoning insights about what we want and what may lead to great personal satisfaction but we make short works of them with the same barrage of filters and downright downers.
And so we stick with what is.
But maybe you can engage these insidious forces in a bit of creative play! Yes, defences can be strong but usually strongest in head to head combat. Engage them directly and they seem to gain strength like The Borg. Play is often the secret weapon that causes them to weaken if not fall…at least long enough to catch a glimpse of what we need to see.
Want to get a little closer to your deeper wishes? Playfully exaggerate them!
Imagine scenarios, important situations in your life where your needs and wishes live, but imagine that suddenly you don’t give a damn! Instead of all the worrying and filtering and protecting yourself and others say what you want! feel how you want! do and react the way you want to in a pure, unfiltered way! (remember you’re still imagining don’t head over to your boss, parent or partner just yet).
Really let yourself go! What if for a short time you didn’t need to worry about who would agree, approve, be distressed, angry, or threatened. Today, you don’t care, you and everyone else are temporarily immune to what you want and need to say (interested but immune). Unleash your arsenal. Have a real emotional express-fest!
Ok so that probably felt good!(and no one was truly harmed in the process)
What did you discover?
Distilled down to its essence you’ve probably opened yourself a window to some needs, wishes, motivations that are being downplayed? denied? over-ridden? Helpful. You need to connect with these.
Now you want to pick them up and put them back on your happiness white board for consideration.
How could these needs and motivations be invited, allowed, invigorated, enlarged, included on your path to happiness? Knowing what they are isn’t the whole solution but it sure does provide a boost of clarity and motivation to help you get at it and get going.
If you’re up for it, engage your creativity in a bit of righteous indignation – and see what you learn!
Then maybe you do go back to giving a damn – but maybe a little less?
happiness contagion mission 