Counter to popular advice, one important thing you can do to feel good (and keep feeling good) is to sweat some of your small stuff. You know those niggling things that you know you need to do but just never seem to quite get around to?
Evidence abounds that we continue to avoid small but important actions that will serve us in the long run because of the discomfort they may cause us in the short-run.
We see this across all spheres, students avoiding their studies, couples avoiding conversations, professionals avoiding obstacles to delivering on commitments and people of all ages avoiding health tests that have been advised or prescribed.
We avoid putting ourselves through relatively small steps now that en up putting us through far bigger, more threatening situations in the future.
So why do we do it?
First is efficiency. It’s far easier, especially in terms of cognitive but also physical energy to maintain our current state. What we’re already doing we know, our bodies know, our minds know, even if the picture’s not pretty status quo is more efficient, at least for now.
Second is fear. Fear of the discomfort the practical steps, tests, tasks, and solutions may cause us. Add to this fear of the outcomes we may face – academic results, painful messages, failed performance, scary health news.
But we know from experience that waiting, procrastination, sheer avoidance only makes it worse. A little sweat now on the smaller steps, missteps, hard conversations goes a long way to averting the bigger scarier ones.
While this classic avoidance is normal human behaviour, what’s a human to do about it?
Sweat it! Decide that you’re willing to accept a little discomfort to head off the bigger discomfort later that avoidance affords. We often (grossly) overestimate the unpleasantness of the task and underestimate the benefits over the long run. We usually have all the information we need about the discomfort we perceive or anticipate ( and potential gains when we actually sit down and write them out to gain a more accurate picture of what we’re facing. Yes it does help if we simply put ourselves to the task of weighing the pros and cons. Here’s the benefit: when we actively weigh the pros and cons consciously we more than double our chances of taking the action!
Create a little performance tension. We all need to give ourselves a little structure and less wiggle room (escape hatches) when it comes to anxiety-provoking tasks. The more vague our commitment the less likely it is to happen. Once you’ve decided your going forward, going in, going through with it – give yourself some specific timelines and precise steps to complete. You’re more likely to follow through! People who make commitments with dates, times and specifics more often complete them.
Call a friend! No this is not to maneuver your way out of your uncomfortable task. There’s no secret escape hatch on this one. There’s only doing it. In this case, calling a friend is a reinforcement in your plan. Someone who knows about the commitment you’ve made (so yes, a little added performance tension) but also someone who can catch or support you regardless of the outcome. Maybe all you need to say is, “yes that was uncomfortable!,” or “yay so glad I did it,” or “more to come.” We all handle stressful situations better with support and this is no exception.
Finally, take stock after you’ve honoured your commitment to yourself. Savour that satisfying (righteous) feeling of facing a fear and getting it done anyways! Then repeat.
Remember, a little sweat never hurt anyone but what you don’t face may!
happiness contagion mission 